The Secret Plan November 17, 2007
Well, it is our second month and all is well. We recently added more space and the church has graciously agreed to share their gym with us as well so we are working on adding some wild kid play as well as some momma workouts. In response to lots of requests, we have plans for a pancake breakfast on Saturday December 1st (details soon) and will be adding Saturdays in January. We also submitted two formal grant applications this week. Not a bad start.
So what is the secret plan? Behind lots of wonderful food and great conversation, the meaning of The Parenting Oasis has always been about treating and preventing postpartum depression and anxiety. Every study I have read on postpartum depression sites social isolation as a risk factor and community support as a goal. So if we want to decrease the rate of postpartum depression and anxiety, we need better community support. I also have found in my work with women struggling with PPD that they almost never think they have postpartum depression, they actually usually just think they are bad moms or bad wives or bad people. They think that their unhappiness at a time when the world believes they should be all smiles means that there is something wrong with them.
So if you think there is something wrong with you, it makes it extrodinarily hard to reach out for support. When you think you are selfish not to love every minute of your role as mother, you certainly aren’t going to complain about it. You suffer alone.
As we grow, I have dreams of the kind of support we can offer new parents. I already realized two of these dreams when Tania stepped forward and offered to make beautiful meals for our center. I envisioned a few muffins from Sams Club but instead, the smells of fresh baked goods and the simmer of soup on the stove great me each day. I mentioned once in passing that having massage available with childcare would be wonderful and I got Kristin. What a great start. Next we have a lactation consultant coming on board- stay tuned.
I want daily postpartum drop-in support groups. I want a full-time on-site postpartum doula. I want a bubble bath and nap room for mommas. I want weekly partner/family groups.
So stay tuned, there is so much more ahead. And join us, bring your talents, bring your tears. Ghandi said that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
And if you think it might be postpartum depression or you think you haven’t adjusted well to parenting, please call (612-205-7050) or email me (parentingoasis@gmail.com) and check in. No matter what is going on, it is always worse when you are alone with it in your head.
Maureen