The Parenting Oasis

Its Spring, Bring out the Babies March 29, 2009

I have become a much better parent this week. I had a rough winter but the sun is out and hope is in the air. My boys have been outside, covered in healthy mud.  I’m having thoughts of the garden and the beach already.

We have a lot going on this week.  If you haven’t been in or if you know a new momma who might be looking for community, this is a great time to come in. Reach out and invite someone new to join us.

Tuesday morning some wise, experienced baby wearing mommas will be sharing their stash with the newer mommas.  If you have questions or want some new ideas, Tuesday 11-12. Baby wearing is best learned by actually trying them on and having a few extra hands really helps. Immediately following the sling share, we will have our regular new mommas group from 12-1.

Wednesday March 25th from 11-12, we will be checking in how Parenting Oasis is doing and what the volunteer committee is planning next. If you want to help us plan for the summer or are able to volunteer, come on in.

Saturday  March 28th, we will be hosting our second Balancing Work and Mothering meeting. Come talk about the joys and stress of pumping, daycare, and just the constant juggle.  Lori Karis, of Sweet Cheeks babyfood will be there after the meeting to share her good stuff and answer questions.

We have some big decisions to make about Parenting Oasis for the summer so if you have any feedback, email me and let me know what you’re looking for this summer.

Maureen
mailto:parentingoasis@gmail.

The Discipline Dilemma March 15, 2009

I grew up with white bread at every meal. Meat and potatoes kind of family. Nothing unusual but not what most of us would call “natural” today. There was a family down the street that had wheat bread and their house smelled like a vitamin store. When we played over there, we usually went home for lunch. My parents were feeding us like everyone else was feeding their kids. Since then some basic ideas about food have changed. We went from whole milk to 2% to skim, first the softest wheat than the rich, grainy dark bread.

Parenting is a lot like that. We have figured out some things are just better for kids than doing it the way we were raised. Even if you feel pretty good about how your parents raised you, this isn’t the same world.

I try to raise my kids to be creative problem solvers who are assertive but empathetic. I wan them to feel safe and supported and know that I love them unconditionally. And then sometimes I just want some blind obedience. My friend Rebecca loves that scene in The Sound of Music when the Baron blows his whistle and the kids fall into line. But we both agree that this would certainly require that our kids fear us, and clearly they don’t.

My mom feels my kids are spoiled. Luckily their teachers don’t see this. Maybe they do get away with too much from me. I know that those people on TV with 8, 12, or 16 kids have higher expectations than I do but I think that was part of my plan when we stopped after 2. Ever day I struggle with just where to put the bar. High expectations are good for kids but unreasonable expectations make for stressed out parents and kids who give up.

This Saturday, the API support group is meeting to talk about Positive Discipline. Come on in. This one is certainly one of my favorites and it is never too early to start thinking about your parenting philosophy. Take a look at the schedule. I put everything we have for the next few weeks so you can plan accordingly. See you soon.

Maureen

Why Birth Matters

Tomorrow, I am marching in the Minnesota Better Birth Coalition Day on the hill with many other moms, dads, kids and professionals that believe that their are research best best birth practices that should be supported by our legislature. (More info minnesotabirth.com) I will be there as a mom with a birth trauma history, a mom with a VBAC success history, as a psychologist who believes that birth trauma increases a woman’s risk for postpartum depression and I will be there representing Parenting Oasis and attachment parenting because birth matters to our kids.

I also offered my Healing Birth Stories workshop this weekend which reminded me how powerful and beautiful birth stories are even when they are raw and painful. Birth transforms a woman. And birth in and of itself is a hell of a lot to deal with but then they hand this vulnerable, dependent infant to you and before you have a chance to catch your breath and decide how you feel about birth, you go into parenting. When are you supposed to recover? How do you heal?

Mothers need enormous confidence to manage what we ask of them. What other calling asks so much of you on the first day? Birth matters. If you can’t come out to march in support with us tomorrow, check in with Susan Lane over at Better Birth and see what she needs. Who do we talk to, what is next? Those people in Saint Paul, and those people in Washington need someone whispering in their ears that birth matters to us.

Maureen

My Version of March Madness March 2, 2009

Monday my baby turns 5 and Wednesday Joey is 7.  I am a big kid mom.  It is the end of a very long stage in my life. After Nate started school,  I always anticipated having another.  And although it took me 16 years, it was always the plan.  Now I am saying goodbye to my own fertility I suppose. They are thrilled to be growing big, it is just a little bittersweet for momma to lose her babies. And two birthdays in a week means two crazy kids and one crazy momma.

When I decided to open Parenting Oasis, it had to be a business that I could start with little financial risk and I had to be able to work it around my own children’s needs.  Parenting Oasis occurred as an idea 4 years ago, after Zach was born, but I knew that even as my children grew, my commitment to parents of little ones was permanent.

I believe in the moment that we become family. I think becoming a parent is one of the most challenging transitions we face in life.  Don’t worry, after 20 years or so you really get the hang of parenting.

This week-check out the new Style Statement workshop and please, if you are planning on or interested in our Healing Birth Stories workshop, drop us a note.

Maureen