The Discipline Dilemma March 15, 2009
I grew up with white bread at every meal. Meat and potatoes kind of family. Nothing unusual but not what most of us would call “natural” today. There was a family down the street that had wheat bread and their house smelled like a vitamin store. When we played over there, we usually went home for lunch. My parents were feeding us like everyone else was feeding their kids. Since then some basic ideas about food have changed. We went from whole milk to 2% to skim, first the softest wheat than the rich, grainy dark bread.
Parenting is a lot like that. We have figured out some things are just better for kids than doing it the way we were raised. Even if you feel pretty good about how your parents raised you, this isn’t the same world.
I try to raise my kids to be creative problem solvers who are assertive but empathetic. I wan them to feel safe and supported and know that I love them unconditionally. And then sometimes I just want some blind obedience. My friend Rebecca loves that scene in The Sound of Music when the Baron blows his whistle and the kids fall into line. But we both agree that this would certainly require that our kids fear us, and clearly they don’t.
My mom feels my kids are spoiled. Luckily their teachers don’t see this. Maybe they do get away with too much from me. I know that those people on TV with 8, 12, or 16 kids have higher expectations than I do but I think that was part of my plan when we stopped after 2. Ever day I struggle with just where to put the bar. High expectations are good for kids but unreasonable expectations make for stressed out parents and kids who give up.
This Saturday, the API support group is meeting to talk about Positive Discipline. Come on in. This one is certainly one of my favorites and it is never too early to start thinking about your parenting philosophy. Take a look at the schedule. I put everything we have for the next few weeks so you can plan accordingly. See you soon.
Maureen
